Three months ago today we moved to Sugar Land. These have been the strangest, and possibly longest, 3 months of my life. People keep asking us how we like it here, but between trips, family and friends visiting, and getting unpacked, we haven't really experienced "real life". Then came Hurricane Harvey and "real life" was suspended even more. We weathered the hurricane, we were fortunate, but I wasn't prepared for the emotions that would come after it.
The only way I can describe this past week is that everything just feels heavy. Emotions are running high, people are stressed, traffic has been horrible, and most people are taking on extra work and responsibilities. Whether it's making food, cleaning out houses, taking donations, caring for children, housing volunteers, or a million other tasks, most people have not taken a day off. On my worst days, I've asked myself, "What if?" What if we hadn't left the safety and comfort of San Angelo? What if life was still predictable? What if we were 4 weeks into our school year, me back in my job I loved, the kids in a familiar setting? What if Sophie was getting to audition for Nutcracker tomorrow with her friends at her old studio? What if everytime I left the house I didn't have to check my app for traffic? What if this very night we were at the high school football game with our friends? What if???? There is a grief process to moving and what ifs will make you crazy!
On my best days though, I wonder, What if we had stayed in comfort and missed out on the work God wants to do in us? This move has definitely brought out my weaknesses. I've always thought of myself as strong, steady, able to handle life. The last few months I've felt weak, emotional, and anxious. This is not the best me and it hurts my pride and the way I've always seen myself. What if that is right where God wants me? I don't know what God wants to refine in me, but I believe his strength is made perfect in my weaknesses.
I have seen a lot of beauty in Sugar Land. I worried about community in a big city, but I shouldn't have. When our town evacuated, so many church members found refuge with other church members. I've seen people bringing each other meals and inviting each other into their homes to share meals around their tables. I've seen neighbors checking on neighbors. I've seen true community here. I have also seen the church being the hands and feet of Christ. God's people have mobilized and needs are being met all around us in a million different ways.
I don't know what God is up to or what comes next, but I am praying He will do the work He needs to do in my life, my marriage, my family, my church, and my community. May we face the challenges ahead with courage and grace.
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