Eleven Years

Today is my anniversary. Taylor has done this thing lately where he buys me gifts on occasions on which we have not normally bought each other gifts. He doesn't discuss this with me first either, so I am caught off guard with no gift for him. I can't really be mad at him though when he gives me a book like this. He said he didn't think it would be nice to call his wife a dummy on her anniversary so he changed the title. Isn't he thoughtful?

Eleven years went fast! This year has taught me a lot. Taylor has been away from us more this year than ever before - away physically for weeks at a time with his doctoral work. Often when he is home his work load causes him to be away mentally even if present physically. I wish I could say I've been the perfect supportive wife through it all. The truth is I haven't always handled this well.

After 11 years of marriage I'm TRYING to learn how to be supportive when I don't support something. Yes, the truth is I didn't want him to pursue this degree at this time in our lives. I like life to be simple and try to avoid extra stresses. But Taylor, he loves to learn and challenge himself. This is who he is. Isn't it often true that the things we love about people are also the things that drive us crazy?

So though I still roll my eyes as he spends another evening at the kitchen table in front of his computer and though I cry like a baby when he drives away from home for 2 weeks, I'm learning that this too is part of choosing to love...loving when the frustrations are high, when I'm feeling lonely, when I wish he was home to put the kids to bed. I hope I'm learning to show him grace though I know I have a long way to go. At least I have 2 more years of doctoral work to get the hang it!

Last year on our anniversary we saw my favorite artist, Andrew Peterson in concert. He wrote a song about marriage that Taylor has posted to his blog before that has really defined marriage for us. For Christmas I gave Taylor a picture of us from Hawaii with this quote on the back from the song, so he always knows I'm on his side (even when I don't act like it).

We bear the light of the Son of Man

So there's nothing left to fear

So I'll walk with you in the Shadowlands

'Till the shadows disappear

'Cause He promised not to leave us and His promises are true

So in the face of all this chaos

Baby I can dance with you.

Let's go dancing in the minefields

And sailing in the storms

This is harder than we dreamed but I believe

That's what the promise is for.